5/12/2010 -- Brown's Island

Brown’s Island and me, just a few short weeks from the big 4-0. Where does the time go? One day I am eager to drive, stay up late and mashing my feet into uncomfortable high-heel shoes, I blink an eye to find myself hoping someone else will volunteer to get behind the wheel, praying to sweet baby Jesus the party doesn’t last but so late and wonder if flip flops are appropriate attire for all events.

So, if I am almost 40 why was I approaching a security guy with someone else’s id with the intent to get a wristband? So. I. Could. Drink. Here’s how. In my old age, I left my i.d. in my fanny pack, yes fanny pack, after bike riding.  Mountain biking to be exact. Counteracts the fanny pack a little bit don’t you think? No? Oh well. I don’t need to drink, I decided. I will be the DD. I will drive tonight and earn points to be the non-driver next time. Well, after arriving at Friday Cheers, hanging with friends and describing why my hands were free to move, twirl (no wine to spill) and empty, quite empty, one of the women suggest I get a wristband with her license. Similar height, similar hair color, the glasses she wore in her license photo were whipped out of her pocketbook and placed on my face. Yes they were prescription and with my contacts in my head, great fun. As I have mentioned, I am 40, why would anyone stare at a license I produced? How hard could this be? After handing over the license and watching the guy study in hard and in disbelief it occurred to me I should have done a few things:

1.       Looked at her age

2.       Learned her name (first time meeting this woman)

3.       Gotten a feel for the address, maybe, possibly

Well, it turns out she was older than me by a couple of years and the good news is the guy didn’t believe it. The bad news is, the guy didn’t believe. THANKFULLY, he was nice and did believe I was over 21 and I didn’t go to jail where I would have been fed stale bread and water for days if not years for trying to procure a glass of dead grapes. Also, the second I knew I was busted I removed those god forsaken glasses off my face. The greatest thing of all, he still gave me a wrist band. Woo hoo! Party like I am 20-years old.